Whiskey And Whiskers

Laundry Strike

Boxer briefs are the way to be. When the Tupperware avalanche leads to a laundry strike, you better hope hangin with W doesn't get you microwaved from space. 

Home Safe

Chicken puppies be marrying people. Literally nothing important. But that Zelensky's a bitch.

Licking Buttholes

There's nothing like AppleHop after banging a thousand dudes, but you might get pregnant. Better than being bald in mozambique. Feed your kids Ozempic so they too can unalive home invaders.

Trash Panda Express

Grab your bag of taco bell and sit down for an episode of Alaskan Bush People on XVideos. Make sure to wear your black socks with your dress Crocs. So you can rent a horse and F*ck sink sluts.

Dogshit and Doomsday Bunkers

White people can use Japanese toilets and hack sex-toys, but they shouldn't mess with peyote. 

Drunk Racing League

We're starting the drunk racing league. There's gonna be a bunch of old alcoholics with prostate issues, and racing chiks with c-section scars. you're gonna have a time.

Costco College University

We're slingin semi-s in the sasquatch sanctuary city, and crushing cold chicken nugs in the costo casa.

Just don't forget to turn off the livestream. You don't wanna wake up to a cali-fire from exploding Stanleys.

Simple Green

During dry january, don't get scammed by Keanu on the dark-web. Just trade your playstations for guns and we'll ride dirtbikes. 

Chicken Prison

Water-boarding is as addictive as Affrin. We're using cell-phone jammers to survive the apocalypse at your mom's house. Caffeine is bad, so drink a bang and enjoy the halftime show.

Condom Shortage

Russians aren't getting any rhino pills for Christmas, but warm-blooded Americans are. The decline in teen drug use has lead to dash ducks, and fish hook fingers. We're slinging Webers for world peace.