Whiskey And Whiskers

Inter-dimensional Fleshlight

Trump is jacking on Iran, but Kim jong un's golf game is no-cap. Liver king should be investing in DNA, but at what mile marker?

100 Cases of Twisted Tea

Hey Chat GPT, can you get me all the fights for free, and also door dash me whiskey? Big Foot pizza orders are overloading the AI mainframe. Labubu

Dick Stats

Life is short, but dicks are long if you have a big enough kite. When you go to the beach don't catch oral herpes from beer-pong. Especially when you can go fishing in-lieu of rioting. Fuck California.

Crash'n Out

700 AI MFKRs are paying to pretend to work. Brush, but don''t rinse.

Semen Retention

We're holding it in; we're blasting off. Dicks out for Harambe! 

Tax reach arounds

Put away the bluetooth baby-oil, and grab the pre-workout and Icy-Hot, cuz we're breaking the mushroom-simulation and canceling the single-tax. Drink your pussy energy drink, pussy.

Apocalypse Proof

Before injecting Butterfly DNA, Check your cybertruck for chechnyian warlords, and opt for the scrotum switch when getting your balls lowered.

Harambe vs. 100 dudes

When we're fighting gorillas, hopefully we draw the nerd-gorilla. Drink your Gator Smoothies with extra catfood, and you too can beat off in Seattle.

Squeak-easy

Glizzys subtracting, butt-crack crackin, snot-snake slappin, but the butt-hair slack'n.

Tits and Cheese

Alcoholic slushies on sale for the death-star concert. Robot waitresses are blasting off and slinging sticky on all the fyre festival. I got E.Coli from butthole corn-chips.